Limerick Jokes(14)

There was a young trucker named Briard
Who had a young whore that he hired
To F*** when not trucking
But trucking plus f*cking
Got him so f*cking tired he got fired.

Limerick Jokes(13)

There once was a lady named Dot
Who lived off of pig shit and snot
When she ran out of these
She ate the green cheese
That she grew on the sides of her twat

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(12)

There was a young lady named Gloria,
Who was goosed by Sir Oswald Du Maurier...
And then by six men,
Sir Oswald again,
And the band at the Woldorf Astoria!

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(11)

A squeamish young fellow named Brand
Thought caressing his penis was grand.
But he viewed with distaste
The gelatinous paste
That it left in the palm of his hand.

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(10)

Hannibal's plan made good sense
Cross alps astride creatures, immense
Though it may seem odd
Your enemy's awed
When elephants sit on defense
(Gary Hallock)

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(9)

A cock of a fellow named Randall,
Shot sparks like a big Roman candle,
He was much in demand,
For the colors were grand,
But most girls found him too hot to handle.

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(8)

When a horse playing golfer named Trey
Goosed a girl in the rough one fine day
He found her, though willing,
Just barely fulfilling...
"I would rate her," said Trey, "a par lay."

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(7)

There was a young lady named Hicks
Who delighted to play with men's pricks,
Which she would embellish
With evident relish,
And make them stand up and do tricks.

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(6)

There was a young fellow named Keith,
who liked to be fondled beneath.
When she used her lips,
He wiggled his hips,
But not when the bitch used her teeth.

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(5)

There was a young lady named Mable
Who liked to sprawl out on the table
Then cry to her man,
"Stuff in all you can -
Get your ballocks in, too, if you're able."

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(4)

A daredevil skater named Lowe
Leaps barrels arranged in the snow
But is proudest of doing
Some incredible screwing,
Since he's jumped 13 girls in a row!

~~~~~

Limerick Jokes(3)

There lives an old geezer named Jay
Who knows he could die any day.
If he draws up a will,
In his kin he'll instill
Just one thought: It's a dead giveaway.
(Kirk Miller)

Limerick Jokes(2)

A lubricious young woman named Gwen
Had never learned how to say "when!"
So she did it again
And again and again
And again and again and again.

Limerick Jokes(1)

Limericks

There lived a saintly girl from Sleepy Hollow
Who entertained the numerous men of the Wallow
When asked by Ichabod Crane:
Have you a place I might drain?
No Thanks, she replied "I don't Swallow."

~~~~~

Last Rites

Will was still stunned and very uncertain as he drove. It was night and
darkness had settled over the flat, featureless land. A small
anniversary "gift" card was resting inside his top left breast pocket.
The idea still sounded awfully crazy.

After realizing pills weren't the answer and that there was no apparent
medical reason for his erectile dysfunction, they began seeking out
other forms of help. One of the specialists they'd seen who touted
herself as a sex therapist suggested spicing things up. Lily started
reading books and articles to gather ideas. Her "gift" card was one
such attempt.

He nervously glanced over at his wife who sat quietly beside him in the
front passenger seat. She sensed him looking, turned her head toward
him, and smiled warmly. He felt the deep love in their briefly shared
gaze, but also the emptiness that had developed over the past few
years.

Lily was a lovely woman. Even now, after twenty-five years of marriage
and after raising two children to adulthood, she was every bit as
attractive. She'd always had a slender, shapely body, and still
captured the attention of passing men. So why was it so hard for him
to...

"Thanks for trying this, Will. Who knows, maybe it will help? I know
it's hard for you."

The word "hard" caused him to cringe. It used to be just a word. Lately
it had become an unachievable condition that was all but becoming a
fading hope. He held out little chance for even the slightest
improvement. His body was unresponsive down there. It patiently waited
for the last rites to be administered and for the grieving process to
begin.

"I'm attempting this because I love you."

"I know that, dear. You made your point quite clearly earlier. But the
options are..." Lily's voice trailed off, but not before the thought
had been shared.

"...rapidly dwindling," he finished for her.

He saw the expression of painful disappointment as it appeared on her
face. It was dark outside but the dashboard lights were bright enough
to see her by. How long had it been? Was it three years yet, or just
slightly more than two? Keeping busy helped. He put in long days at
work, thinking that making himself unavailable might hide the fact that
he couldn't get aroused. But all it did was cause an even deeper divide
that they were desperately trying to bridge

"How did you find this place?" Will finally asked.

She sighed and looked flustered. "Where there's a will..."

"Don't you mean "Where there's a Will...?"

"This is no joking matter, not for me."

The somber atmosphere was depressing and in no way conducive to arousal,
even if he could get hard. Will forced himself to perk up and give it a
real chance, if not for him, then at least for Lily. She'd been trying
so... hard. There was that despised word again.

He glanced over and checked her out. She was dressed in a short red
skirt that left her legs mostly exposed. Life's little imperfections
had crept in, but they were still attractive to look at. Above that she
was wearing a sexy, low-cut white top. He could see the tempting
jiggling of her firm swells under the fabric. Several years ago the
vision would have stirred his cock, but no longer.

"You look quite lovely."

She kept her head turned away, but he could see the hint of a smile

forming in the partial reflection of her face in the passenger window.

"I did this for you, Will."

"You've done so much for me. The aerobics classes to keep fit, the
surgeries to stay firm... I appreciate everything. Rest assured I'll do
my part tonight."

His tired wife of twenty-five years smiled. "Thanks for noticing. Do you
think it's possible?"

Will knew better than to sound grim and hopeless. Instead he chirped,
"There's always that chance."

Her tensed shoulders relaxed. She appeared as if a growing concern had
been alleviated.

"Can I touch you?" he cautiously inquired.

She leaned across the console, pressing her left shoulder against his
right. "Can you? It's all I've wanted lately. There's no part of me you
can't have."

As if to emphasize the point her left leg stretched over the console
that separated them and slid over his right leg. This may have
otherwise hindered Will's control of the gas pedal but the road was
empty and the car was on cruise control. A fiery crash somehow seemed
less important and much more distant than the promising juicy heat of
her pussy; not that he would be able to enjoy it. But it was so vitally
critical that she could.

"Wouldn't it be ironic if I got hard before we even got to this place?"

She purred. "I wouldn't mind. You can pull over anywhere if the urge
strikes."

The mental desire was there, but the physical ability was lacking. The
fingers of his right hand teasingly glided up and down her left inner
thigh. Lily was moaning as she separated her lower limbs further. As
the odometer rolled over at predictable intervals his fingers slid
closer to the one thing he'd wanted for so long. He mentally willed his
cock to harden, yet it remained lifeless.

Will's hand moved beneath the short skirt. Fingers snuck under the
elastic barrier that delineated the outer edge of her panty crotch
where they were greeted by warm wetness.

"Did I do that?" Will questioned.

"And so much more; please tell me you're getting hard."

He lied for her sake. "A little, I think."

Her left hand reached over and hopefully squeezed his crotch.

Will considered how difficult the absence of sex had been for Lily, a
healthy and sexually desirable woman. Would he have had the wherewithal
to weather the storm, or would he have found another outlet for his
needs?

"I wouldn't have blamed you for cheating, you know, but I'm really glad
that you haven't," Will confessed.

She leaned over and kissed the side of his face. Her lips shifted to his
right ear and whispered, "It's you I want. And barring that, I'd rather
do without."

A smile appeared as her words warmed his heart. He felt the hand on his
crotch begin to loosen his pants. Will didn't protest. A few years ago
his cock would've already been rising to the occasion. But that was
then and this was now, he ruefully thought. The tell-tale metallic
sound of a zipper could be heard, followed by the feel of her warm
fingers sliding inside and surrounding his soft penis.

"Normally you'd be as stiff as a rock by this time," she commented.

"I was just thinking of that myself."

Her fingers caressed his balls before stroking the wrinkled shaft.

"I hear you masturbate beside me late at night sometimes. Does it work?"
she wondered.

Will's face turned hot. He hadn't known she knew. "I've discovered one
doesn't have to be hard to climax. There's no power behind the
ejaculation, and it's much less pleasing, but it's the best I can
manage at the moment."

Her mouth kissed his. Mindful that he was driving, she kept it brief.

"Did you take your pill?"

"Before we left," he confirmed.

She snuggled at his side as much as she could with the center console
separating them. It was a nuisance. Lily leaned her head on his left
shoulder as the fingers of her left hand lovingly squeezed on his limp
organ. Even though it didn't as much as shudder she didn't give up.
Hope encouraged her.

For his part Will continued fingering his wife's slick cunt. He probed
the wet slit, rubbed over the clit, and teased the outer boundary of
the opening that craved for him. He could feel her body beginning to
writhe with pleasure. Her nipples flared.

"This brings back memories," she cooed. "Do you remember our college
days? I loved it when we parked and touched each other like this."

He swallowed hard. The excitement was starting to get to him, except
where it counted the most. "Those were great times."

Her head leaned toward him. Will jumped as Lily began nibbling on his
ear lobe. Warm nasal air rushed over Will's skin, further enticing his
affection. He should've been rock solid hard by now. His heart was
racing, and his breathing was accelerated. He began rubbing Lily's cunt
harder, her hips eagerly thrusting forward in slight fucking motions.

"God, your fingers feel good on my pussy. I wish you'd touch me more
often. You don't have to be erect for me to enjoy this kind of
intimacy."

When he slowed the car down Lily began feverishly popping the buttons of
her blouse open. Her pulse quickened with arousal. It had been so long
since he'd touched her this way. The tires crunched on the gravel of
the shoulder before stopping. Will shifted the transmission into park,
doused the headlights, and quickly killed the engine.

When he turned toward Lily he saw that both hands were behind her back.
As he noticed the open blouse, her bra went limp. The cups shifted
forward but still hid the creamy mounds.

"Come here, sexy," Will whispered while reaching for his wife.

She was breathing heavily as their arms coiled tightly around each other
as best they could over the console. Her eyes longingly gazed at his
half-open mouth before anxiously kissing it. She moaned into his mouth
as their tongues frantically entwined. Will shifted his right hand to
her front and cupped an enhanced breast. It was firm yet soft. As Will
squeezed he isolated the vibrating nipple between thumb and index
finger, playfully twisting the aroused tip.

Their passionate kissing grew heavier. Tongues hungrily entwined, eager
for the warmth and taste of the erotic embrace. Will's right hand
fondled her with great enthusiasm, tenderly tweaking on the throbbing
nub. Lily's moans intensified with her growing arousal, eagerly
shuddering as tingling heat filled her loins.

The smell of her growing wetness tinged the air with her sexual scent.
He worked two fingers into her cunt and began finger-fucking his wife.
Lily responded by grinding her pussy against them, juice flowing,
dampening her clothing and smearing over his hand. Her left hand pulled
away from his limp penis in frustration.

"Oh god, Will, I'm so hot."

She shifted her body until her back was against the passenger door. Her
thighs separated, exposing her beautifully glistening cunt for him.
Will released the self-retracting shoulder belt and turned, facing her.
Seeing her all wound up like that was heart-warming yet at the same
time gut-wrenching. He moved as best he could in the confined space
while trying to reach his mouth down to her crotch, but it was
physically impossible.

Sensing both Will's desire and his plight she whispered, "Just use your
fingers, that's good enough."

He pushed the same two fingers back inside. She softly cried out as they
stretched the juice-slick canal and reached in as deeply as they could.
Lily leaned forward, offering his mouth a naked breast. And in that
car, parked along a remote stretch of lonely highway, Will pumped his
fingers into her hot cunt as his lips and tongue sucked and licked on
her hardened nipple.

"Oh yes... Oh god, will... A little harder, baby..." she breathlessly
groaned while writhing in heated pleasure.

It was awkward and hard on the back, but he ignored the growing
discomfort and kept thrusting his fingers. After they burrowed all the
way in Will wiggled them for maximum effect. He felt her heightened
vibrations as she drew closer to orgasm. His mouth sucked harder on the
pulsating tip.

"Almost, don't stop... So close..."

Moments later her body stiffened. He heard a final gasp as his wife
wildly convulsed in spasms of ecstasy. Juice flooded Lily's cunt as her
muscles clenched hard. She weakly cried out while savoring the wondrous
rush of tingling sensations. For several glorious moments life's
problems were forgotten. When her body relaxed with a sigh he pulled
away.

"Oh Will, that was grand!"

She sat in the same position for several seconds. Afterwards Lily dipped
a hand down and felt how wet she was. "Oh my, I've made quite the mess.
Did you get hard at any point during that, even slightly?"

"It stirred a bit," he again lied.

* * * * *

When they were on the outskirts of a city and began seeing signs for the
outlying streets Lily turned on an overhead map light and reviewed the
directions she'd printed out.

"How far is this place?" he asked.

"Not far now. Take the next exit and turn left."

He retrieved the 'gift' card from his top left breast pocket and flashed
it at her. "And what's this special surprise all about?"

Lily grinned with excitement. "You'll see very soon."

The suburban area appeared trendy and upscale. Most of the buildings
looked quite new. As they passed clusters of stores Will slowed the car
as she carefully read the illuminated storefront signs.

"Take the next right."

He turned into the mostly vacant parking lot as she pointed the place
out to him. It had large Chinese writing in big red letters outlined in
white on the front windows and appeared to be otherwise discreet. In
fact it was so discreet its real purpose was not at all readily
identifiable.

"What is this place?" Will wondered out loud as he slipped his right arm
around his wife's slender waist.

Once inside, the couple was greeted by a sharply dressed older Chinese
man. After exchanging professional pleasantries the trio sat in an
immaculate office adorned with Chinese wall coverings and what appeared
to be antique vases. Lily did most of the talking as she provided the
name of their reference and other information that Will did not
understand. It took a period of about fifteen minutes before the
transaction was completed.

They were escorted to a fairly large room. The walls were again covered
with bright Chinese fabric wall coverings depicting exotic scenes and
multi-colored dragons. Overhead lighting was dim, creating a wonderful
ambiance. Along one wall flickering candles sat on a long shelf. They
found the scent to be noticeable and decidedly relaxing. In the center
were two massage tables side by side, draped with clean, crisp white
sheets. A pillow rested on one end. On a nearby table, specially
arranged, were six small white Chinese ceramic bowls containing various
ointments.

"This isn't going to involve whips and chains, is it?" Will whispered
into her ear.

Lily playfully smiled. "That's the last resort. But if this doesn't
work, you can start worrying."

Two white silk robes hung from wooden pegs beside two wooden stools. She
led him to one and began removing his clothes.

When he appeared confused she explained, "We're supposed to undress each
other and put on the robes."

He was puzzled. No such instructions had been given as far as he'd
heard. "How do you know that?"

"Call it a woman's intuition."

Will didn't buy her answer. But he'd agreed to go along and allowed her
fingers to loosen and pull off his clothes. Once naked she helped him
slip on the robe and she tied the sash.

He returned the favor. Although his mind was still reeling from what his
eyes were seeing he was beginning to get aroused. His cock was still
soft, but his heart was starting to race. She turned away from him and
he placed the robe over her arms. His hands reached around and tied the
sash.

"How will they know when we're ready?" he questioned.

Moments later a door opened on the far side of the room. They hadn't
seen it as it so masterfully blended in with the wall. Four figures
walked through, two men and two women, and each one appeared to be
Chinese and nineteen or twenty years old. Their feet and lower legs
were bare. They wore bold red silk robes with a small gold dragon
stitched over the left breast and a much larger one on the back.

The women were indescribably beautiful, with long silky black hair that
must have touched the top of what appeared to be shapely asses.  The
men were equally handsome with well-defined features while not
appearing to be overly muscular.

Will glanced over suspiciously at Lily, who returned a knowing wink.
She'd apparently stumbled onto his stash of Oriental porn he kept
hidden away, a weakness and long-time secret obsession of his assisted
greatly by the internet. There was something about the look that turned
him on. Or used to, at any rate; that, and Japanese anime. The artwork
was as impressive as it was erotic.

Two Chinese women approached him, while the two men stepped up to his
wife. They respectfully bowed before their guests before removed their
robes, returning them to the pegs from where they'd come. He felt a
little self-conscious standing there naked, looking so abundantly...
limp. When he looked over at his wife he admired her lovely attributes.
That adoring face, wonderfully toned figure, and the firm, upright
breasts with the straining pink nipples fully erect.

Next the Chinese assisted in the removal of each of their own robes,
revealing stunning bodies. Will watched, thoroughly entranced. His eyes
drank in the heavenly vision of the toned, slender female bodies with
flat tummies, small but perky breasts, slightly curved hips, and the
thin tufts of black hair that covered the rise of their pubic mounds.
The sight had his heart racing and balls tingling, but Will's penis,
sadly, remained unaffected.  His wife inspected the two men just as
thoroughly.

Will and Lily were each silently guided to a different table and placed
front-side down, lying with their faces looking at one another. Hands
separated their legs and positioned the arms at their sides. As Will
watched, a man prepared a blind for Lily by repeatedly folding a red
silk scarf. Just as it was placed over his wife's eyes, he also lost
the sense of sight.

His wildly beating heart began to slow as they lay there, unmoving, in
silence. Will wasn't sure if the background music had been playing the
whole time or if it just started. He listened to the rich, wonderful
tones of a single Chinese Pipa playing a traditional song. He found it
to be very relaxing, almost hypnotic, in its effect.

His ears couldn't hear anything except for the music, but he could feel
slight movements of air across different parts of his skin as the women
performed whatever tasks they were doing. Several times silky strands
of hair brushed over him, triggering tingling jolts that rippled
through his flesh. It was the most erotic thing he ever recalled
experiencing and was so utterly relaxing that his mind hovered on the
verge of sleep.

Two hands were placed on his buttocks, pulling the cheeks apart. Soft
fingers lightly caressed the bottom of his scrotum. His lower torso
tightened as slight tingling sensations again passed through him. He
heard his own brief moans as the dancing fingers moved upward along the
parted crack, jumping when they passed over his anus.

A single one paused there, gently rimming the puckered opening again and
again. The pressure ever so imperceptibly increased a tiny amount each
time. The hard, sharp tip of a fingernail replaced the soft fingertip
and made clockwise circling motions before moving to the opening and
pushing just slightly inside. Other fingers were felt. They were wet
with a heated lubricating ointment. This was delicately spread around
and just inside the rectum. The fingers retreated after his opening had
been prepared... but for what, he wondered.

Something hard was pressed against Will's anus. It seemed to be coated
with a heated ointment as well.

His body twitched as soft lips kissed his exposed left ear. An angelic
voice instructed, "Wiggling your hips will help." Her teeth teasingly
nibbled on the lobe before retreating.

There was pressure as the device was manipulated and eased into his ass.
It initially felt good as he enjoyed the warmth, and it was silently
vibrating. The heat spread throughout his lower abdomen. When it worked
deeper and met considerably more resistance, he grunted. Then,
recalling the whispered words, he began wiggling his hips. The hard
instrument found its way into his rectum until it was wedged against
the prostrate.

Will heard his wife softly groaning and wondered if she was receiving
the same treatment. Four moistened hands began massaging his legs,
arms, back, and neck in carefully arranged motions. They periodically
pulled away, one at a time, only to return. He imagined them being
dipped into the ceramic bowls for they returned wet, coated with some
kind of substance that ranged from soft to gritty.

Some were pleasantly warm, others cold. Yet there was a plan in their
use, for the resulting sensations were extremely relaxing. All he could
focus on were the soft, slender fingers with surprising strength
squeezing, rubbing, and soothing his body as no one had ever done
before. And the insistently warm, vibrating device that left his balls
aching with excitement. The hope this might actually work floated to
the top of his brain.

Only after the young women knew he had achieved an almost trance-like
state of deep relaxation did they add new elements to the massage. Hair
flitted over his sensitized skin, both tickling and stimulating his
body. The hardened tips of their soft breasts lightly danced upon him,
and soft lips with hot breaths trailed across him too. The net effect
was intensely erotic.

He felt something different down below, a slight twitching; proof of
life. His mind envisioned their gorgeous, lithe bodies as the teasing
torture continued. Will soon realized he was slightly pumping his hips,
grinding his crotch on the table, wanting so badly to get hard. And
slowly he was. His hips shifted, raising the left side of his body just
a bit to give his awakening penis space to grow.

Soft hands gently turned him over onto his back. The device in his ass
must have been placed deep, for it did not hinder his ability to lie
flat. One woman climbed onto the table and sat straddling his crotch.
As her hands massaged the front of his shoulders and upper chest she
rubbed her moist pussy lips against his cock, encouraging it to harden.
He could feel her jiggling breasts lightly gliding over his chest,
tempting him with all she had.

Other fingers caressed his scrotum again. They alternately brushed over
the swelling head and shaft of his cock. Slowly, bit by bit, blood
fleshed out his manhood and removed the nearly permanent wrinkles of
skin that surrounded his long-dormant cock. The taller he grew the more
arousing it was to feel the woman's wet pussy sliding up and down the
top side.

Will wanted nothing more at that moment than to slide his cock inside of
her tight cunt. But the thought was fleeting as his love and desire for
his wife grew stronger than ever. He reached his right hand out and
grasped her left. Their fingers interlaced as they both moaned from the
erotic massage they were receiving.

To feel his cock completely hard and straining with life for the first
time in several years was in itself amazing. His balls tightened and
ached for release. The touching of soft, wet bodies and fingers against
him had his heart pounding. He breathed in hard and released the air as
frantic cries. He could feel the tip of his prick leaking cum. He
wanted, no, needed, Lily so badly.

The two single tables were pulled together and locked, forming one twice
the width. Lily rolled onto her left side while bending her right leg
at the knee. Their mouths found one another and anxiously met. Wet
tongues darted and swirled in relieved delight. His left hand moved
around her waist and pulled her body tightly against his, crushing her
breasts against his chest.

He felt a hand hesitantly encircling his hardened cock. "Oh Will, it's
true... You haven't been this hard for years. Please keep it up; I so
badly need you to love me."

She guided his cock forward and desperately pressed the length of it
against her cunt. It frantically throbbed. Will quickly realized that
her pussy was soaked with wetness. He hadn't been the only one being so
wickedly teased. Lily's hips moved back and forth, grinding her cunt
against the amazing hardness. She was eager to have him inside, yet
wanted to savor the rare moment for as long as humanly possible.

Unable to deny herself any longer, Lily rolled onto her back while
pulling Will on top. Her legs had never been so anxious to part. They
wrapped tightly around his waist as he rose up slightly and guided his
cock to her opening.

"Oh, Will, love me... Oh yes, yes..."

She was incredibly wet and ready. When Will thrust his cock it slid all
the way inside at once. Lily's hot, juicy cunt surrounded him. Her
lungs released a rush of air that left her mouth as a heavy sigh of
wondrous relief. Tears of happiness formed in her eyes.

"Oh, my god!" she wailed, overcome with joyous emotion.

He could hardly believe it. Had his cock penetrated so deeply? Was it
his wife he was feeling, or was it all a dream he would soon wake from?
She shuddered beneath him as he withdrew, and then he sank fully into
her a second time. Realization slowly dawned, brightening his soul, as
he fulfilled their desperate dreams. All of the frustration and
agonizing self-hatred melted away as his hips pumped like well-oiled
pistons once more. The rust instantly fell away as the steam of desire
powered his driving motions.

Will was elated more than ever as he felt his wife helplessly quivering
under his thrusting mass. Her readily flowing juice coated his cock
many times over before leaking from the vibrating petals of flesh.
Encouraged by her breathless moans of delight he loved her with body,
heart, and soul. The vibrations generated by their feverish loving
shook her amplified breasts, their overheating bodies leaking
perspiration.

"Oh, baby... give me your cock... love me harder..." her soft cries
breathlessly pleaded as climax approached.

He couldn't believe how hot and wet Lily was. God, she felt incredible!
His hips continued driving, relentlessly pounding the stiff cock into
her cunt time after time. Each inward thrust was accompanied by an
audible squishing sound just before their sweaty bodies slapped against
each other.

"I'm so close, baby... don't stop... you feel amazing!"

Will knew his wife was on the edge. After twenty-five years he
recognized the signs; the sound of her moans, how she was frantically
grinding her pussy against his crotch, and by the way her body was
quaking. When he heard that final gasp followed by the feeling of her
muscles tightening, she was there.

Her juicy canal constricted around his burrowing organ. She cried out,
pulled him hard into her wildly thrashing frame, and seemingly melted.
A surge of fresh juice soaked her already wet pussy as spasms of
ecstasy rocked her to the very core. After a few seconds her tensed
body relaxed.

He gently rolled over, pulling her on top. With his pulsating cock
buried in her cunt they gazed into each other's eyes. Hers were
smiling, radiating with unbridled happiness. They said nothing,
kissing. His hands moved to Lily's breasts and squeezed on the luscious
swells. His index fingers rubbed on the erect peaks, teasing the
dimpled areolas while compressing the diamond-hard tips.

The kisses began softly, but soon their tongues were thrusting and
swirling. His hands shifted to her hips as his loving motions resumed.
Lily moaned into his mouth as his still-hard prick glided in and out of
her center. Her hips matched his movements and they were quickly going
at it like two unrestrained animals in heat.

"Oh god, you're still hard!" she exclaimed in shocked disbelief. "Love
me, baby!"

No more than a minute could have elapsed when he sensed his wife was
nearing climax a second time. His legs and hips were growing
increasingly tired but Will so badly wanted to bring her all the
pleasure he possibly could to make up for his recent lack of
performance. As sweat rolled off his skin he pounded into her cunt with
his remaining strength. Her moans intensified. When he briefly glanced
up he saw her roughly tweaking on those nipples as her attractive body
wildly shook.

This time when Lily climaxed, Will also fulfilled his need. When her
cunt stiffened around his cock, it triggered the rise of semen. As his
sensitized head slid along the constricted canal, powerful tingling
sensations rushed through him. His balls tightened as he edged closer.
With his prick fully engulfed by her pussy, he flinched and exploded.
He could feel the strong stream of cum that was ejaculated. Will pulled
back and rammed forward again, twitching and grunting loudly as several
more spasms sent filaments of cum squirting deeply inside.

When he had finished he relaxed on the table. The sheet beneath them was
wet with sweat and sex juice. Lily relaxed on top of his chest. The
sounds of their breathless panting filled the room.

"I... love you... so much," Will offered as he struggled to find the air
to speak the heartfelt words.

After a few minutes of rest Lily carefully sat up and slid off the
table. Will raised his lower torso and pulled the vibrator out of his
ass. She noticed him doing this and looked puzzled.

"Is that what they did to you?" she questioned. "That got you hard?"

How could Will possibly explain all that was done? The teasing with
hair, breasts, and nipples after a fantastic massage, the gorgeous
young Oriental woman that was rubbing her wet cunt up and down his
cock, making him want so badly to slide his growing prick deeply inside
that young, tight Oriental pussy.

"That was part of it, I guess," he answered. "And I took the pill before
we left."

She pressed her nude body into her loving husband's arms and hugged him
hard. "It doesn't matter. Tonight turned out to be the most wonderful
anniversary I can remember."

Will added, "For us both."

XXX Adult Limerick Jokes(34)

A Man shouts to his wife,
Come here and look at my clock
She walks in to find him naked with a hard on
She says that's not a clock
He says it will be when you put two hands and a face on it..

XXX Adult Limerick Jokes(33)

There was a young man named Ringer,
Who was seducing a beautiful singer.
He said with a grin,
"I've now rammed it in!"
She said, "You mean that isn't your finger?"

~~~~~

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There was a young person named Willie
Whose actions were what you'd call silly;
He went to a ball
Dressed in nothing at all
Pretending to represent Chile.

~~~~~

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A worried young man from Stamboul
Discovered red spots on his tool.
Said the doctor, a cynic,
"Get out of my clinic!
Just wipe off the lipstick, you fool."

~~~~~

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A young man from a lofty Sierra
Found sex both a puzzle and terror.
But he met with a lass
In a similar pass
And they both learned - - by trial and error.

~~~~~

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There once was a lawyer named Bender,
Who worked as a Public Defender.
Since his limo bumped into
A little Ford Pinto
He's referred to as Defender Bender.

~~~~~

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I chase all the girls when I'm spunky--
A five-day-a-week sexual junky.
I tend not to stray
On Tues- or Wednesday--
On those nights I spank my own monkey.

~~~~~

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Little Jack Horner said, "Sorry Miss Muffet
We do not do ladies, we're not keen on tuffet.
But if you can find us poor Little Bo-Peep,
We can all have a foursome including her sheep."

~~~~~

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Humpty Dumpty stood on the street corner
Touting for business with little Jack Horner
Along came Miss Muffet with only a dime
"What can I get if I tell you a rhyme?"

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There Was A Young Lass Of Decatur
Who'd Become A Wild Masturbater.
''Men Are So Hit-Or-Miss
When Tickling My Clitoris,
That I've Purchased A Big New Vibrator.

~~~~~

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There Was A Young Lass Of Decatur
Who Went Off To Sea On A Freighter.
She Was Screwed By The Master,
An Utter Disaster,
But The Crew All Made Up For It Later.

~~~~~

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The model climbed up the ladder,
As Titian, the painter, had bade her
Then her position
Suggested coition,
So he climbed up the ladder and had her

~~~~~

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A lady named Belle da C*nt Corrigan
Was the mistress of J. Pierpont Morigan,
'Til she handed the banker
A hell of a chancre,
And now she is just a plain whore again!

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A hard-working waitress named Cora,
Discovered that drummers adore a
Titty that's ripe
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Limericks

There once was a girl from the chorus
Whose virtue was said to be porous.
She started by candling
And ended by handling
The whole clientele of a whorehouse.

~~~~~

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There was a young maiden, a Sioux,
As tempting as fresh honeydoux.
She displayed her cute knees
As she strolled past tepees,
And the braves, they all hollered "Wioux-Wioux!"

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There once was a lady named Lynn
Who was so uncommonly thin,
That when she assayed
To drink lemonade,
She slipped through the straw and fell in!

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A gentle old lady I knew
Was dozing one day in her pew;
When the preacher yelled "Sin!"
She said,"Count me in!
As soon as the service is through!"

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That vampire, at midnight will pounce
Drain blood from your veins, large amounts!
"Was that," You'll inquire
"A bloody vampire?"
That sucks! But this isn't what counts
(Gary Hallock)

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There once was a man named Mort
Whose dick was incredibly short
He climbed into bed
And his ladyfriend said,
"That's not a dick, it's a wart.

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A bird loving woman named Hester
Had a parrot who often would pester
Said lass for a cracker
She gave her a stack fer
She always did what Polyester
(Gary Hallock)

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A mystical painter named Foxx
Once picked up a girl on the docks.
He made an elliptic
Mysterious triptych,
And painted it right on her box.

~~~~~