Thoughts to think about I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. *********** Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. *********** The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. *********** Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway. *********** There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead. *********** Life is sexually transmitted. *********** An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. *********** If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool who said : "Quit while you're ahead?" *********** The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth. *********** Always get the last word in: Apologize. *********** Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks. *********** Some people are like Slinkies . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs. *********** Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing. *********** Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to? *********** Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again. *********** How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? *********** All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. *********** Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. ************